Resolve and Self-Motivation

re*solve [ri-zolv] - noun 1. a resolution or determination made as to follow some course of action. 2. firmness of purpose or intent; determination
It's probably pretty obvious to most that one's resolve is a determining factor in the fulfillment of New Years Resolutions. But before your resolve is tested, before you get your sights set on something, we must first be motivated. My husband is full of Dr. Phil-isms and is fond of saying "change comes only from inspiration or desperation". I'd agree with that. But I think all of us know people (including ourselves at times) who just never get motivated enough to change or do something about their situation. Everyone fantasizes about having a better life or being something more, but what keeps some people stuck while others move forward? One of my mentors likes to use the illustration of a pyramid:

23% of the population are near impossible to motivate. You could hand them a winning lotto ticket and they'd never call to claim their prize. Their disbelief, fear, complacency, and excuses would keep them exactly where they were, never taking advantage of the opportunity starring them in the face. 60% of people are possible to motivate... under the right circumstances. They're motivated as long as the sun is shining and the stars are aligned. The 10%-ers are Self-Motivated: they spur themselves on, they have self-discipline, and the resolve to  stick to it through the ups and downs. Then there's the few... the 3% of people out there who can inspire others to greatness. These categories are not life sentences. Perhaps at different stages of life we were UN-motivate-able, motivate-able, or self-motivated. For me, lately I've been oscillating between motivate-able and self-motivated. If you're like me, trying to get rooted as a self-motivated person, it helps to surround yourself with people who've already made that transition.Take note of the people you spend the most time with- are they the kind of person who actively pursues their goals and doesn't let disappointments deter them? Or are they stagnant, lacking drive, and more focused on the things they can't control than the things they can? Minimize time spent with those who are "stuck" and the amount of influence they have on you. Maximize your time with those whose drive you wish to emulate. Take note of what they do and follow suit. Repeat until self-motivation is a habit.

In the words of my favorite roommate: "Peace out"

Beyond Goal Setting: Forming Habits

One of my professors once explained that "The only difference between a goal and a dream is a plan." Or, stated another way:  "A dream is a goal without legs". The point is, dream achievement requires a plan of action. Wishing and hoping your dream will fall into your lap only leads to a wasted lifetime

Some of us stubbornly want some Good Samaritan, gracious benefactor, or fairy godmother to hand us our dreams. But don't forget even Cinderella had a plan to get to the ball that included taking care of business and sewing her own ball gown. It was only after she began working on her plan that she received the help from her friends and the fairy godmother.

 

Goals of course need to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. I've practiced writing goals with this formula since grad school. My difficulty thus far has been in implementation. Here is a secret I came across two days ago that I was previously missing:

 

Tie A Habit To Each Of Your Goals

It works like this: identify a behavior that is complementary to your goal and make it a habit or routine. Example: If my goal is to average at least 10,000 steps a day on my pedometer over the next 7 days I will make always parking in the back row of the parking lot and walking for 20 minutes on my lunch break two new habits for me.

 

I'll share an actual goal I have for 2013: I need to carve out 5 hours a week to dedicate to the small business my husband and I run. This meets the criteria for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound. The supporting habit I am developing to help me reach this goal is sitting down with my planner every Sunday night after dinner and scheduling my entire week. I will block out 1 hour per day M-F for business functions.

 

This is simple and straight forward enough that you may be tempted to take your entire list of 100 new year's resolutions and create 100 new habits all at once. go easy on yourself. Pick no more than 3 to focus on at a time. Once the new routinese truly are habits that you don't have to think about anymore, then feel free to add on a couple more. Happy goal setting!

My Three-Fold Purpose

Why blog? Is my egoism so strong that I must bombard the public with my views and opinions? Am I a narcissistic exhibitionist compelled to broadcast every shred of my personal life on the Internet? Am I so socially isolated that the only community I can seek is online? Is this just a New Years resolution that will be discarded in a week or two?
None of the above... at least, I hope not.
My purpose is two-fold: I'm at a point in my life when I'm committing to making a concerted effort to direct my path in life. No more passively waiting for things to happen. No more complacency. Blogging will serve as both an accountability log and as a sphere to process thoughts, ideas, and plans. Lastly, I hope people reading will find nuggets of inspiration. One never knows how their life may touch another's.

May my life impact unknown millions by the changes I'm making in myself.